Maybe the answer is to laugh

This morning I came across one of those rarities: a blog that really stands out, publishes new posts frequently, and makes me laugh. It’s called Assimilated Press and it doesn’t wallow in anti-Bu$hco angst. Instead, it posts hilarious little stories that are so close to the real news they’re almost not funny. Check out some of these headlines:

* Bush Plans To Move New Orleans To North Dakota
* Newborn Babies To Be Slapped With Liens To Cover Debt
* Cheney Spends Vacation Clubbing Baby Seals
* Dead Zone Surrounds Crawford, Texas
* Aspirins For The Sick & Blankets For The Dead
* Bush Announces Amnesty Program For Democrats
* Pharmaceutical Giants Reach Agreement With Drug Overlords

Those and more are why I’ve added Assimilated Press to my list of favorites.

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A blogger’s challenge solved

These days I find it increasingly difficult to post anything worth writing about. My usual subjects seem boring. I mean, how many times can one rant about George Bush when almost two thirds of the populace share your outrage? It’s kind of like self flagellation. I’m weary of writing about Bu$hco, and my handful of readers are probably weary of reading about it.

Living out in the country like I do, there aren’t many distractions worthy of commentary. I have been meaning to write about the flock of wild turkeys who occasionally wander into our yard—about eight of them—but I wanted to accompany a post about them with a photo, and lately they’ve stopped coming by.

I’ve noticed a similar slowdown in posting on several of my friends’ blogs as well. (Detroit Gail! Hello! Your last post was a month ago! Rick! We’ve been awaiting your insights into 9/11 as a government conspiracy!) Makes me wonder: is blogging a passing phase? Maybe people soon be saying, “Blogging. That’s sooooo 2004.”

Just in time, along comes a new book I’m proud to have signed for Peachpit late last winter. It’s called No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog. It’s by uber blogger Maggie Mason, purveyor of the Mighty Girl and Mighty Goods sites. It’s chock full of suggestions to prompt you to write interesting posts. Not that this post is that interesting, mind you.

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His house of cards is falling down

Joe Scarborough asks the question on Fox TV: “Is Bush an Idiot?” (duh). Conservative columnist George Will finally concludes the Iraq war is a disaster. William F. Buckley has made his distaste clear. About the only conservatives left supporting Bu$hco are stalwart blowhards like Rush Limbaugh, Laura Inghram and Anne Coulter.

From an article detailing the rats leaving the sinking ship in the Washington Post: “While other presidents have been called stupid, Scarborough said: ‘I think George Bush is in a league by himself. I don't think he has the intellectual depth as these other people.’” Must be kind of depressing hanging out in or near the Oval Office these days.

FDR said, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” and that’s such a contrast to the whimpering false bravado of the Bu$hco gang who try to make us fearful as a way to keep themselves in power. FDR went on to describe “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

If I didn’t know the way this cabal works, I’d be celebrating their downfall. But instead, I’m very fearful. I’m expecting some kind of dramatic attack on innocent citizens just prior to the elections coming up. These craven bastards know no limits. They’ll kill innocent men, women and children in Iraq, and they’ll do the same here (and blame it on “terrorists”) to make the rest of us afraid. Call me paranoid, but mark my words. They’ve done it before; they’ll do it again.

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New levels of incredulity

As if flying wasn’t demeaning, tiring or uncomfortable enough already, now we can’t take toothpaste or hair gel or even a bottle of water on an airplane. Those things get confiscated by the security coolies at the airport and thrown into the same trashcans. They’re supposedly potential explosives and they’re indiscriminately mixed together? My god, what a bunch of idiots Americans are. Everytime I take off my shoes at an airport checkpoint I feel like a sheep being led to slaughter. Wonder how long before they’ll be asking us to spread our butt cheeks? At what point will we say, “enough!”?

Is anyone suspicious that just a few weeks before an upcoming election when Bu$hco stands to get its ass whupped we have this latest “terrorist plot” with the threat level raised to RED? I’m not afraid anymore: I’m incredulous at the stupidity I see all around me.

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